Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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