Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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