we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Drunk is not a location!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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