I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
