at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
