dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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