You're completely useless in the revolution.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
