I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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