Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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