This is not my ceiling
my phone needs a breathalizer
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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