You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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