...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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