I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize