I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
