My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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