It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
