Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
