At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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