Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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