Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
