hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
