the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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