Have you finally orgasmed yet?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
