pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize