I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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