I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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