Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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