frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
