Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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