if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
