I like to think it a success when the cops are called
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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