Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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