Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you win again, gameday.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize