Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you would pick up someone in the library
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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