i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
