why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize