Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
