Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
