he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
