I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
