peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
