apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
