Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
