She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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