It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
