This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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