He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
