This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
