Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My balls are so social today.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I will pee on everything he values.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
