some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize