No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
