You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
