That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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