Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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