and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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