I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You made out with two different species that night
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
